Scene 1 — The Infirmary

The Fedora Handbook, Rule #29

“”

INT. CAMPUS INFIRMARY — WARD 2 — SUNDAY 23 NOVEMBER

Eight beds, three of them made up, one of them occupied. A window at the far end that does not open and a strip light that is off, which is the only kindness in the building.

Owen has been here since Saturday night. It is Sunday afternoon and he has been awake since about ten and has not been told very much.

MAYA is in the chair beside the bed with a coat over her knees. She has been to her run twice and come back both times.

Owen

How long was it?

MAYA

Ninety seconds. I counted it, because the sheet

says to.

Owen

Which sheet?

MAYA

The one on the wall in the teaching lab that

nobody reads. It says count it, don't hold them

down, and don't put anything in their mouth.

She says all three of those the way you say a thing you have said to yourself several hundred times since Saturday.

Owen

Sorry.

MAYA

Don't. That's the worst thing you could have said

and you had a one in four chance.

There is a letter on the locker. It came at four in the morning and somebody printed it and left it there, and it was there before he was awake.

The letter is below.

NEW CARTHAGE UNIVERSITY · HEALTH SERVICE · ASSESSMENT OUTCOME

SUBJECT: Owen Mercer · PROVISIONAL 3812

EVENT: single episode, witnessed, resolved without intervention. Duration reported as approximately ninety seconds.

FINDINGS: within range.

CATEGORY: GEN-8.77x

SUBCLASS: x — recurrence not indicated on present evidence.

ADVICE: rest. Return if there is a further episode.

You may resume all normal activity, including recorded activity.

This outcome is not a diagnosis. Diagnosis is not a service provided by the Health Service.

Dining allocation is unaffected.

Findings within range. Category GEN-8.77x. Rest, and come back if it happens again. That is the clinical content of the piece of paper and by the middle of the afternoon he has it off by heart, including the x.

HELP · personal · v9

USER

what is GEN-8.77x

ASSISTANT

GEN-8.77x is an assessment category in the general series.

The general series records single events of altered awareness

in an enrolled subject. The numeral indicates the schedule

under which the category was assigned. The subclass indicates

whether recurrence is indicated on present evidence.

USER

so x means it wont happen again

ASSISTANT

x indicates that recurrence is not indicated on present

evidence.

USER

thats not the same thing

ASSISTANT

No.

USER

how many categories are in the general series

ASSISTANT

Nineteen.

USER

what are they

ASSISTANT

Categories other than the assigned category are not disclosed

to the subject.

USER

ok but is 8.77 a bad one. like is it in the bad half or the fine half. im not asking you to tell me the others im asking where mine sits

ASSISTANT

Categories are not ranked.

USER

then why are they numbered

ASSISTANT

The numeral indicates the schedule.

USER

what schedule. nobody has asked me anything

ASSISTANT

The schedule is the instrument used to determine the

category.

Schedules are retained. Schedules are not released to the

subject.

USER

so it was decided already

ASSISTANT

Would you like me to book a follow-up?

Nineteen. It gives that one up in one word, having declined the question either side of it.

He goes back over it twice. The answer he keeps returning to is the short one in the middle, because it is the only time all year that anything has agreed with him about anything.

INT. WARD 2 — MONDAY 24 NOVEMBER

ELI arrives with a chair from another room because there is only one chair, and puts it down the wrong way round and sits on it like that.

ELI

Right. I've been told not to tire you out, so I'm

going to talk and you're going to lie there.

Owen

Fine.

ELI

The Guild lost the black box for a fortnight

because somebody in Music booked it on a form that

doesn't exist any more, and I have spent four days

on it and I have won, and nobody will ever know

what it cost me.

Owen laughs, which hurts, which he had not expected.

LENA comes in at some point in the middle of it with three coffees, sits on the end of the empty bed opposite, and does not say anything for a while, which is her version of asking.

LENA

Have they told you what it was?

Owen

They've given me a letter.

LENA

Yes. They do that.

Cut to:

INT. WARD 2 — MONDAY, 2:00 P.M.

A woman comes in with a tablet and a chair she has carried in herself, and sits down at the end of the bed rather than beside it, and does not give a name or a department.

THE ASSESSOR

This is the schedule that goes with the category.

Nine questions. There are no wrong answers, I'm

not assessing you, I'm completing the schedule.

Owen

I've already got the category.

THE ASSESSOR

Yes.

She is not embarrassed by that and does not appear to think it is a remark.

THE ASSESSOR

Were you asleep?

Owen

No.

THE ASSESSOR

In the ten minutes before, did you notice an odour

you couldn't place?

A coin held too long, and then a room that has been shut.

It has happened in a warm room in August and twice since and he has never once told anybody about the smell, because the smell is not the part other people can see.

Owen

No.

She types it.

THE ASSESSOR

In the last thirty days, have you been below

ground level on institutional premises?

Owen

Yes. Plant Services. It's my service assignment.

THE ASSESSOR

How long in total, would you say?

He works it out, which takes a moment.

Owen

Fifty. About fifty.

She types for longer than any yes or no has taken.

THE ASSESSOR

Do you recall a room, corridor or stair on

institutional premises that you cannot place on a

map?

There is a photograph of a catalogue card on his Help, in a bag, in the bench room, where it has been since Saturday.

Owen

No.

THE ASSESSOR

Has any family member been assessed under this

schedule?

Owen looks at her.

Owen

I don't have that.

THE ASSESSOR

Nobody does. It's on every schedule. It's older

than the schedule. Say no.

Owen

No.

THE ASSESSOR

Was any person present who is not enrolled at this

institution?

Owen

No. One person was there. She's enrolled.

THE ASSESSOR

Name?

He gives it, because there is no reason not to, and watches her type it.

THE ASSESSOR

Last one. Since the event, have you wanted to know

something you did not want to know before?

Owen looks at her.

Owen

What sort of question is that?

THE ASSESSOR

It's question nine. There are no wrong answers.

Owen

No.

She types, stands, and takes the chair out with her.

THE ASSESSOR

(at the door)

Thank you. That's the schedule.

Cut to:

SCHEDULE 8 · nine questions · completed by an assessor · not a diagnostic instrument

1. Was the subject asleep?

2. In the ten minutes preceding, did the subject notice an odour they could not place?

3. In the preceding thirty days, has the subject been below ground level on institutional premises?

3a. If yes, total hours.

4. Does the subject recall a room, corridor or stair on institutional premises that they cannot place on a map?

5. Has any family member been assessed under this schedule?

6. Was any person present who is not enrolled at this institution?

7. Name of any person present.

8. (withdrawn)

9. Since the event, has the subject wanted to know something they did not want to know before?

Schedules are retained. Schedules are not released to the subject.

INT. WARD 2 — MONDAY, LATER

LENA has brought the coffees again and is sitting on the end of the empty bed opposite with her feet up.

Owen

Somebody came and did a schedule.

LENA

Nine questions?

Owen looks at her.

LENA

They did four of them at me when I transferred.

Not the sleeping one. The one about the corridor

and the one about the smell and the one about

family, and then the last one.

Owen

Question nine.

LENA

That's the one.

Owen

What did you say?

LENA

I said no, because I'd been asked it before and I

knew what it was for.

Owen

What's it for?

She drinks the coffee.

LENA

Nothing happens if you say no.

She changes the subject to the poster job and does not go back to it, and Owen does not push, and neither of them mentions it again for the rest of the book.

Cut to:

INT. WARD 2 — MONDAY EVENING

ELI has been here two hours and has run out of the Guild and most of the second years.

He tears the back page off the notes at the end of the bed and draws four lines on it.

ELI

Noughts and crosses. You're crosses, you're ill.

They play nine games. Eli wins the first one because Owen is not really there yet, and after that they draw eight in a row.

ELI

This is a terrible game.

Owen

It's a solved game.

ELI

What does that mean?

Owen

If neither of us makes a mistake it's a draw.

Every time. Forever.

Eli looks at the paper for a moment.

ELI

So the whole of it is waiting for the other one to

get it wrong.

Owen

Yes.

ELI

God. All right. Best of one more.

Blackout.

FEDORA SOCIETY#general

VictorPRESIDENTWednesday, 9:14 PM

Attendance tonight four of five. The session does not proceed

at four. We hold the position and resume next week.

Miles9:15 PM

hes in the infirmary victor

VictorPRESIDENT9:16 PM

I am aware of where he is. The position is held either way.

Derek9:31 PM

we could run the bit under the refectory without him

VictorPRESIDENT9:32 PM

No.

Simon10:02 PM

has anyone actually gone over there

Simon10:44 PM

ive gone over there. theyll only let family in

Simon10:45 PM

i left the dice

VictorPRESIDENT11:58 PM

Article Two stands. Nobody has left anything.

The tin is on the locker when he wakes up on Tuesday, with a note folded under it that says back Wednesday and nothing else, and Simon's handwriting is worse than anybody would have guessed.

Six days recorded, two evenings still owed, and set one due on the Friday the way it was due on the Friday before any of this.

INT. WARD 2 — TUESDAY 25 NOVEMBER

He is dressed and sitting on the made bed with the letter in his hand, waiting for somebody to come and tell him he can go, which takes an hour and forty minutes.

MAYA comes at ten with his bag, which has been in the bench room since Saturday, and the page folded into eight is still in the front pocket of it, and so is the card he photographed in Beckwith.

MAYA

Anything?

Owen

GEN-8.77x.

MAYA

Which means?

Owen

Findings within range. The x means recurrence

isn't indicated on present evidence.

MAYA

That isn't the same as it not happening again.

Owen

No. I asked. It said no as well.

She reads the letter twice and gives it back.

MAYA

Somebody wrote that schedule. Somebody set the

range, on a day, and put a name at the bottom of

it, and it went into a building and it is in that

building now.

Owen

I know.

MAYA

I'm not being nice to you. I've had this all term

with a correction factor.

She has to go to the bench at half past and goes, and stops at the door.

MAYA

About Saturday.

Owen

Yes.

MAYA

I'm not going to say anything sensible about it in

a ward. Come and find me when you're not grey.

Blackout.

Tuesday. He is not allowed to do anything strenuous and the sliding puzzle is not going anywhere, so he writes the terrible game instead, because he has just told somebody it cannot be lost and he would like that to be true where he can check it.

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/empty-board

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/free?

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/place

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/lines

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/winner

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/full?
x

That is the whole of the rules and it took forty minutes, and it is the part he expected to be hard.

Then the other half, which is a thing that plays. It works backwards from the end: if a board is finished it is worth one, nothing, or minus one, and if it is not finished it is worth whatever the best reply to it is worth, and the other side is looking for the worst.

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/other-side

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/outcome

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/value

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/best-move

It reads every game that is still possible from where it is standing, which is a lot of games at the start and almost none by the middle, which is why it thinks for a second on the first move and instantly after that.

#'act3.s1-the-infirmary/opening
6

Six. It has to be six, and it is not blocking because it is clever, it is blocking because every board that does not block is worth minus one to it.

0

Nought. From an empty board, with both sides playing as well as they can play, the game is worth nought to everybody, which is what he told Eli on a piece of paper torn off the end of a bed.

Play it. It blocks, it takes a win when there is one, and it will not lose to anybody on that corridor.

NOUGHTS.CLJScljs
Then three weeks, which go the way weeks go.
FEDORA SOCIETY#general
VictorPRESIDENT26 Nov, 11:40 PM
Attendance four of five. The session holds. It resumes when it is five.
Simon26 Nov, 11:52 PM
hes back tomorrow
VictorPRESIDENT3 Dec, 11:38 PM
Five of five.
Derek10 Dec, 11:20 PM
friday is the one with the boats again. thats twice this term
Derek10 Dec, 11:21 PM
nine films
Miles12 Dec, 6:02 PM
review week. good luck everyone. genuinely
Simon12 Dec, 6:40 PM
good luck
Set one goes in on the twelfth of December, six of six, and the last of the six is the terrible game, which is marked as an assignment about a rule that cannot be broken, which it is.
Review is the week after. Nobody works. Everybody works. The reading room is full at four in the morning for six nights and the Commons never closes, and there is a fortnight of the year in which this institution genuinely resembles the thing on the banner.
INT. HALLORAN UNION — ROOM 3C — FRIDAY 17 APRIL
FOUR THOUSAND AND SIX
approved · 138 min · as supplied, 138 min
DEREK
Whole.
VICTOR
They're always whole. Have you noticed that these
are always whole?
DEREK
No.
It opens on a card and the card is a number and the number is the title.
FOUR THOUSAND AND SIX APPROVED ACTIVITIES
AND THE NUMBER HAS NEVER GONE DOWN
Then a settlement. It is not named and it is not placed and the countryside around it is not any countryside.
The people in it are gathering. That is the offence and the film is clear about it and says it four times: they have been gathering, and the gathering is not on the list, and it has been going on for two years.
The film never says what they gather about.
It cannot. A film that reproduced the content would have to have the content approved and the content is the reason there is a film.
So they talk, at length, in three long scenes, and they are shot beautifully, and there are no words on the screen and there is no dubbing and the sound of the room is left in.
You watch a hundred people make an argument for nine minutes and you do not learn one thing about it.
Cut to:
THE FILM — THE HALL — NIGHT
They sing.
The audio is not there.
It is not muted and it is not covered with score. It is removed, and the room tone goes with it, so the picture runs on and there is nothing coming out of the wall for about forty seconds while a hundred people sing.
Their mouths go on. Some of them have their eyes shut.
MILES
(in the dark, quietly)
Did the sound go?
DEREK
No.
Cut to:
THE FILM — THE ASSIGNMENT — CONTINUOUS
It is an assignment. It is not a war, because war is unapproved and has been since the war, and the film uses the correct word about eleven times.
The unit is nine people and they are extremely likeable and one of them is funny in a way Derek repeats twice afterwards.
The clearance takes twenty-six minutes of screen time.
It is well made. The camera stays where the unit is. It does not linger and it does not look away and it is excited, and the score under it is the best thing in the film.
There is a corridor with two doors on it and the second door takes four seconds longer than the first, and the film makes those four seconds thrilling, and they are.
Afterwards the unit tidies.
The floor of the hall is hosed. There is a vehicle at the door and the loading is done properly and quickly by people who have done it before, and the film shows the whole of it because the whole of it is the point: this is a job, and these are the people who do it, and they are tired and they are decent to each other.
One of them is sick behind the vehicle and another one carries his kit for him and neither of them says anything about it.
That is the best scene in the film and everybody in Room 3C knows it.
Cut to:
There is a shot in the transport on the way back of the unit in rows, in webbing, in the amber light they use in a hold, and one of them is asleep with his head against the wall.
Rows, and amber, and being held.
He has about four things from the first eighteen months and he has never told anybody any of them, because everybody has them and there is nothing to say.
Warm. Amber, through a wall you could see through and could not see out of.
There was another one, close, and it moved when he moved, and it was a long time before he understood that this was because it was the same distance from him as he was from it, and not because it was him.
Things arrived. Not from anybody and not in a voice. The word for a chair, and then the word for a door, and then the words for how many there are of a thing. He did not learn them, so much had been given them.
And hands, sometimes in gloves, from outside the wall, turning him so that something could be put against him. It was cold and it was not unkind and it happened on a schedule and he could tell when it was coming.
And the taste.
It changed twice that he can remember. Once it got better and stayed better for a long time, and once it changed and did not get better, and he has no idea how long either of those was because there was no outside and no day.
The Commons does the hot line from half six. He has been through it four hundred times this year and he has never once stood in that queue and thought about the sac.
He thinks about it now, in a dark room, over a shot of nine people in a hold, and then the film cuts to something else and so does he.
THE FILM — THE END
The unit goes home. There is a woman at a gate and a child and it is not overdone.
Then the closing card.
FOUR THOUSAND AND ELEVEN APPROVED ACTIVITIES
AND THE NUMBER HAS NEVER GONE DOWN
Cut to:
INT. ROOM 3C — CONTINUOUS
DEREK
That's the best thing we've watched all year and
I'm not going to be talked out of it.
VICTOR
It's very well made. It is extremely well made.
The corridor is four seconds and they are the four
best seconds on that list.
Miles has not said anything since the card.
MILES
It's not the same number.
DEREK
What isn't?
MILES
The front card and the back card. It opens on four
thousand and six and it closes on four thousand
and eleven.
DEREK
So it went up.
MILES
It's the same film. It's a hundred and
thirty-eight minutes. It went up five during the
film.
Derek thinks about it.
DEREK
Then five things got approved while we were
watching it. That's good, Miles.
Miles writes it down. He puts it in the column he ruled in October, which is HEARD, and it is the only thing in that column that came off a screen.
SIMON
(quietly)
They sang for forty seconds.
VICTOR
They did.
SIMON
No — I mean somebody sat down and took it out.
Somebody had it and took it out and put nothing in
the hole. That's a job. Somebody has that job.
Nobody has anything for that.
DEREK
The corridor, though.
VICTOR
The corridor was very good.
Cut to:
EXT. THE QUAD — 22 DECEMBER
The campus thins in about four hours. Owen watches a family load a car and it takes them nine minutes and they are laughing the whole time.
MAYA and LENA are going. ELI is going and has said goodbye four times and come back twice.
MAYA
Are you going anywhere?
He says nothing for slightly too long.
MAYA
Right.
Owen
The service assignment doesn't stop.
MAYA
The service assignment is two mornings a week and
you know that isn't why.
She goes. At the gate she turns round and says something he does not hear and does not ask her to repeat, and it is the last thing anybody says to him for six days.
Cut to:
INT. MERIDIAN HALL — REYES 204 — 29 DECEMBER
The building is locked and the door of 204 is open because she is in it, and she is the only person on that floor.
Owen
Professor?
REYES
Term's over. Come back the eighth.
Owen
I wanted to ask what you did. To get here.
She looks up and decides how much of her afternoon this is going to be.
REYES
Provisional?
Owen
Yes.
REYES
What did you fix?
Owen
The water on my block.
REYES
How?
He does not have an answer to this and never has.
Owen
I hit it.
REYES
I was a Provisional. It isn't a story. There were
four of us in my year and I'm the one who's still
here.
Owen
What happened to the others?
REYES
They stopped being here.
She goes back to the screen.
REYES
Don't come to me for this. I've got thirty-one of
you and I like about four, and liking you is not a
service the university provides.
Owen
Okay.
REYES
The eighth. Bring the assignment.
He is at the door when she speaks again, without turning round.
REYES
You'll be fine. Statistically most of you are.
Blackout.