Scene 5 — The Boats

The Fedora Handbook, Rule #30

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FEDORA SOCIETY#general

VictorPRESIDENT9 Oct, 11:48 PM

Attendance five of five. Friday was the one with the boats in the ice.

Derek16 Oct, 11:12 PM

that one came back four minutes short

VictorPRESIDENT23 Oct, 11:50 PM

Attendance five of five. Wednesday ran to the Janitor, as usual.

Nine weeks of the campaign and we have not left the third floor.

Miles30 Oct, 11:59 PM

docket again. sorry

Simon6 Nov, 1:02 AM

the boy in 2 north didnt come back after review week

Simon6 Nov, 1:03 AM

someone else is in there now. hes fine. hes nice

VictorPRESIDENT6 Nov, 8:01 AM

Article Fourteen.

VictorPRESIDENT20 Nov, 11:44 PM

Attendance five of five. Twelve weeks. Nobody has missed a Thursday since September.

Twelve Thursdays. Twelve Wednesdays. Ten Fridays, because the projector was double-booked once and Victor took it to the counter and lost.

Two dockets, both of which he attended, both of which were forty minutes in a room with nine other people and a woman with a clipboard, and neither of which is worth writing down, which is what everybody says about them.

Sixteen mornings at six with Hollis. The pipe by the stair does not stop and the second bucket does not go away. In the middle of October somebody empties both of them, and it is not Hollis and it is not Owen, and neither of them mentions it.

Set one goes in on the third Friday of October, six of six. Set two opens on the Monday. The four evenings of supervised study are spread across five weeks, because Beckwith 2 is only free when it is free.

The number holds. Somebody on the second floor does not come back after the October review and the room has somebody in it by the Friday.

INT. BECKWITH HALL — ROOM 2 — THE LAST EVENING, 20 NOVEMBER

Supervised study. Nine desks, four of them occupied, and a member of staff at the front who marks a sheet at six and a sheet at eight and does not look up in between.

No Helps. There is a poster about it, and under the poster a radiator that comes on at ten past six and goes off at seven.

The room was something else before it was this. Along the back wall there are nine wooden cabinets, chest height, in banks of drawers about the size of a brick, and people put their bags on them.

He opened one in October because it was there, and because a drawer that has not been opened in a long time comes out in the way that tells you.

They are full of cards. Thousands of them, upright, packed tight, each one typed, each one with a number in the top left corner.

Tonight is the fourth evening and he has been along the same drawer three times.

THE SUPERVISOR

(without looking up)

Don't take them out of order.

Owen

What are they?

THE SUPERVISOR

It's a catalogue. There's a cabinet of them in

half the rooms in this building. People put their

bags on them.

Owen

A catalogue of what?

The supervisor looks up for the first time in four evenings.

THE SUPERVISOR

Of the books, love.

Owen takes the page out of his bag. It has been folded into eight since September and the folds have gone soft. On the reverse there is a paper pocket, and above the dates it says 005.13 · OAKES.

He goes along the drawers until he finds the one with the range on the front that has 005 in it, and then along the cards.

It takes forty minutes and he finds it at ten to eight.

Cut to:

005.13 — catalogue card — NEW CARTHAGE

STRUCTURE AND ORDER IN PROGRAMS · v.2 · ed. 4

acc. 11-4402 · accessioned, stamped, and stamped again nine years later

COPIES: 3

LOCATION: OAKES — withdrawn

LOCATION: OAKES — withdrawn

LOCATION: C-3 — held

In pencil, along the bottom edge, in a hand that is not the typist's: everything below C-2 went with the ground.

There is no building C. The current map goes B, D, and B and D are touching, and Owen sat in a room on a Wednesday night in October and heard a man in a felt hat say exactly that about a place he had invented.

He puts the card back in order, because he was asked to, and takes a photograph of it on the way, and adds one line to a list that already has page 219 on it.

INT. HALLORAN UNION — ROOM 3C — FRIDAY 21 NOVEMBER

Lights off. Two boxes of pizza. The projector.

THE BANKS

approved · 96 min · as supplied, 96 min

DEREK

It's the only one that comes whole.

It opens on a man on a slipway reading a noticeboard with a race on it. The film gives him forty seconds of that and then goes somewhere else and does not come back to it for an hour and a half.

The race is an amateur thing. A dozen boats, run every year off a coast the film never names. The man and his wife sail one of the small ones.

There is a long stretch in the middle where nothing goes wrong.

They practise in flat water. They argue about a sail and stop arguing. She goes forward and does something to the mast with a spanner and comes back, and he does not ask.

Twice she calls a turn before he does and he takes it, and once he does not, and they lose the boat they were beating, and neither of them says anything about it for the rest of the afternoon.

In a kitchen she reads a tide table out loud and says a time. He is doing something else. The film does not go back to it.

Miles stops eating at about the fortieth minute.

The water on Owen's block went off in February and stayed off for two days. It had never done that in his life. It had done it a great deal in his mother's, and she said so, and she said it the way you say a thing that is over. That is the entire reason he is in this building, on this couch, in the dark, watching two people rig a boat on a trailer.

On the day the wind is up and they are late off the slipway, and the film does not say why and neither of them mentions it.

Some of the fleet takes the long way round the head. Some of it goes inside the bank. The ones who go inside are ahead by the second mark and the film shows the gap opening.

There is a shot of the hull from the water. There is a weed line on it and the weed line is out.

They hit.

There is no spectacle in it. A sound, the deck stops being level, and the mast goes over the side with the rigging and the mainsail attached to it.

He goes over the bow.

He comes up ten feet from the boat and finds his footing and the water is at his chest, and he has taken the coral across the shin and the inside of the leg on the way in and does not know it yet.

She is still aboard. She gets a rope to him on the second throw.

He gets a hand on it. He cannot use the leg and the bottom is coral heads and holes, and she takes his whole weight twice and holds it both times.

For about forty seconds it is a film about a man being pulled out of the water by his wife.

Then the wave comes through.

It lifts the hull and puts it down in a different place, and she goes over the side with the rope still in both hands.

The mainsail is in the water and full of it, and she comes up underneath it.

He gets to her. It is twenty feet and he goes down twice in it.

Her head is out. He gets the sail off her shoulder and her head was already out, and it does not help.

Her leg is through the shrouds below the knee. The wire has taken a turn round a coral head and the hull is on the other end of it.

The water is going.

He works at the wire with both hands. The film stays on the hands for a long time and there is nothing else in the frame.

The hull settles about four inches.

She stops helping him and puts a hand flat on his chest.

THE WOMAN

Under the thwart. Port side. There's a knife under

the thwart.

It is the only line either of them has in the whole of it.

He goes back. It is twenty feet and it takes him longer than it took him coming.

The boat is on its side. He goes under twice and comes up twice and the second time he has it.

The film goes with him and does not cut back to her once.

He cuts the wire. It takes three goes and the third one is two-handed.

He gets her free and gets her up onto the coral head and holds her there out of the water.

He does not know yet.

The film stays with him not knowing for a length of time that people walked out of cinemas over.

The other boats are outside the bank. They cannot come in over the coral. Two of them go round the head. The film cuts to them four times and they are not much closer on the fourth.

Two men from the first of them get to him.

They take him. He is the one bleeding and he is the one they can reach, and he goes over the side of their boat with a man under each arm and one of them talking to him the whole way, kindly, in a voice you would use on a horse.

He is shouting. It is the only shouting in the film.

Then it cuts back. The slipway. The noticeboard. Forty seconds of a man reading a list of rules and putting his name on it.

THE FILM — INT. A KITCHEN — SIX WEEKS EARLIER

THE MAN

I've put us in.

THE WOMAN

You've what?

THE MAN

It's forty boats. Half of them are worse than us

and the other half will take the long way round

because their insurance says to.

THE WOMAN

And the bank?

THE MAN

Everybody goes inside the bank. It's four feet at

the top of the tide and we draw three.

She looks at him for a while.

THE WOMAN

What time's the start?

THE MAN

Ten.

THE WOMAN

And the top of the tide?

He does not answer that one.

THE MAN

It'll be fine.

She says all right. The film ends on her saying all right.

Nobody in Room 3C says anything for a while. Victor lets the credits run.

MILES

(eventually)

He should have gone for the knife straight away.

DEREK

He had a leg open on coral, Miles.

MILES

I know that. I'm saying he was in the water two

minutes before she told him where it was. He'd

have made it.

DEREK

You don't know that.

MILES

You could time it.

Nobody answers that.

VICTOR

What it's about is the men who took him out of the

water. He's standing there holding her and they

decide for him. Nobody in that film asks him

anything.

Victor sits back. Derek nods slowly, twice.

SIMON

(quietly)

It's about the kitchen.

VICTOR

The kitchen's two minutes long.

SIMON

Yes.

Miles puts the mask on. Nobody has asked him anything and nobody asks him to take it off, and he keeps it on for the rest of the evening, including on the stairs, including outside.

Cut to:

INT. PRENTISS SCIENCE CENTER — THE BENCH ROOM — SATURDAY 22 NOVEMBER, LATE

The bench room is where researchers work and eat, one long bench each, name on the end of it. Two lamps on out of eight.

MAYA has been here since four. There is a flask in a heated bath at the end of her bench with a thermometer in it, and it has to be read and written down every twenty minutes for nine hours, and between the readings it does not need anybody at all.

LENA is on the counter with her boots off. The press prints onto sheets bigger than the poster, so every one comes out with two inches of white round the edge that has to come off. The machine that does that lives in the print shop and the print shop shuts at ten, so she has forty of them, a steel rule and a scalpel.

LENA

Twenty past. Go and read your flask.

Maya reads the thermometer and writes the number in a column of the same number going back to four o'clock.

ELI

(from the floor, where he is lying with a coat over him)

Somebody say something. I'm going under.

MAYA

Say something, Lena.

LENA

All right. The first time I ever saw weather

coming I thought somebody had done it.

ELI

(still on the floor)

Done what?

LENA

The weather. I thought somebody had put it on and

I wanted to know who, and I asked, and it turns

out that's a stupid question.

ELI

Where was this?

She does not answer, which is the fifth time.

Owen looks at the bench in front of him and does not say anything, because he knows the whole of it and was asked not to, and because he would like to keep the arrangement.

At one o'clock Eli goes to bed and Lena goes with the poster tube under her arm and one boot in each hand.

Cut to:

INT. THE BENCH ROOM — 1:40 A.M.

Two of them and a run that has to be looked at every twenty minutes.

MAYA

Rock, paper, scissors. Loser goes at two.

Owen

All right.

She wins four out of five.

Owen

Again.

She wins three out of four.

Owen

That isn't possible. It's a third each. It's a

third each every time.

MAYA

It's a third each if you're a coin. You're not a

coin, you're a person, and people do the same

thing after they lose.

Owen

What do I do after I lose?

MAYA

You play the thing that would have beaten me.

Owen sits with that for a moment.

Owen

Hang on.

He opens the machine and writes something with her reading over his shoulder, and neither of them looks at the run at two o'clock, and it is fine, and nobody ever finds out.

The program he wrote is below.

A third each, if you are a coin.

(def beats-what
  {:rock :scissors
   :paper :rock
   :scissors :paper})

(defn judge [mine theirs]
  (cond
    (= mine theirs)                :draw
    (= theirs (beats-what mine))   :win
    :else                          :lose))

(judge :rock :scissors)

(defn coin [_history]
  (rand-nth [:rock :paper :scissors]))

That one cannot be beaten and cannot win. Over a long enough evening it is a third each, and the evening is the only thing that happens.

Then the other one, which is hers, written down by him.

(defn what-beats [x]
  (first (filter (fn [k] (= x (beats-what k))) (keys beats-what))))

(defn reader
  "They played a thing last time and it lost. People play the thing that
  would have beaten you. So play the thing that beats that."
  [history]
  (if-let [last-round (last history)]
    (let [{:keys [theirs mine]} last-round]
      (if (= :lose (judge theirs mine))
        (what-beats (what-beats theirs))
        (coin history)))
    (coin history)))

(defn play-round [history theirs]
  (let [mine (reader history)]
    (conj history {:mine mine 
                   :theirs theirs 
                   :result (judge mine theirs)})))

(def evening
  (reduce play-round [] [:rock :rock 
                         :paper :paper 
                         :scissors :rock 
                         :rock]))

(map :result evening))

It is not clever and against a coin it is worth nothing at all. Against a person who has just lost, it is worth about four points in ten, and four points in ten is the difference between a game and a habit.

Here it is, playing. Throw against it. It has nothing but what you did last time, and for the first two or three throws that is nothing at all.

SHOOT.CLJS · rock, paper, scissorspress Run
shoot_settings.cljscljs

Press Run.

The gold tag means it wasn't guessing that round. Everywhere else, it's a coin.

INT. THE BENCH ROOM — 2:20 A.M.

It beats her twice.

Then she stops and looks at the ceiling for a moment.

MAYA

When you take one off me, it expects me to change.

Owen

It expects you to play the thing that would have

won.

MAYA

Yes. So when you take one off me, I'll play the

same thing again.

She does that, and wins, and does it again, and wins.

She beats it for the rest of the run and is delighted about it and says so at length.

MAYA

That's the whole of it, though. You made a thing

that watches somebody. It only works while they

don't know it's there.

Owen

Four points in ten.

MAYA

Four points in ten is enormous. Ask anybody here.

She turns the lamp off at her end because the run is finished, and does not go, and neither does he.

Neither of them says anything for a while.

She kisses him. Neither of them makes it complicated.

Then she is talking and he is not answering.

MAYA

Hey.

He is looking at a point somewhere past her left shoulder and his mouth is doing something small and repetitive that he does not appear to know about.

MAYA

Hey. Look at me.

Four seconds.

Then he goes sideways off the stool and takes the stool with him.

He is already rigid before he lands. His head goes back and stays back. There is a sound that Maya will not describe to anybody afterwards, not to Lena, not to Eli, not to him.

She gets the stool away, drags the bag over, puts it under his head, and clears the bench beside him with her arm.

She does not hold him down and she does not put anything in his mouth, because there is a sheet on the wall of every teaching lab in this building and she has walked past it twice a week since September.

She looks at the clock and holds it, and this is the part that costs her: she stands still with her hand on the floor beside his shoulder and does nothing at all for ninety seconds while it happens.

Then it stops.

He is breathing. His eyes are open. He is not there.

MAYA

Okay. Okay.

She gets her Help out and it takes her two goes to make it listen, because her hands are not steady and the first thing she says to it is not a sentence.

MAYA

(into it, too loud)

Prentiss. The bench room, third floor. Somebody

needs to come now.

MAYA

Now. Now, please.

Nobody comes for nineteen minutes.

She stays on the floor with him for all nineteen of them and talks to him the entire time, and he does not answer any of it, and she keeps going.

Curtain.